User blog:Squibstress/Epithalamium - Chapter 5
Title: Epithalamium Author: Squibstress Rating: MA Genre: Drama, romance Warning/s: Explicit sexual situations; teacher-student relationship (of-age); language, violence Published: 23/05/2017 Disclaimer: All characters, settings and other elements from the Harry Potter franchise belong to J. K. Rowling. Chapter Five “Perhaps we should try a different method of focusing your concentration. If you wouldn’t mind, my dear, placing your hands in mine?” “I think we’ve covered the theory enough for the present,” said Professor Dumbledore. Over the course of the week, their lessons had progressed through discussions of how Animagus transformation occurred, what determined the form it would take, and the various rules and regulations governing those who undertook it. “I think perhaps it’s time to begin some practical exercises,” he told her. “Really? That would be wonderful!” As much as Minerva had loved discussing—and occasionally debating—Transfiguration theory with Professor Dumbledore, she was anxious to move on to the next phase of her studies. He chuckled at her enthusiasm. “Don’t be too excited, my dear. The first exercises are very basic, although I expect you might find them somewhat challenging.” She frowned. “Why do you think they will be particularly difficult for me?” Was he losing faith in her abilities? “Forgive me, Minerva. No insult was intended. I only think you may find them difficult because they require that you first empty your mind of conscious thought. And I suspect you are unaccustomed to the feeling of an empty head, as it were.” She smiled at the indirect compliment. “I see. Well, I shall endeavour to do my best, Professor. Will we begin with one of the exercises from Professor Falco’s book?” “No. I thought we could start with something of my own devising,” he said. “That is, if it is all right with you, my dear.” “Of course, sir. What should I do?” “First, I would like you to make sure you are completely comfortable and at ease. Any physical tension will inhibit your ability to focus. You need to release it. Can you do that?” “I think so.” “Good. Are you comfortable sitting where you are?” She nodded. “All right. You may leave your hands in your lap. Now, close your eyes and try to empty your mind. Concentrate on nothing but the sound of my voice.” He began to hum quietly. After a few minutes, he stopped and said, “You may open your eyes now, Minerva. So, how did that feel? Were you able to empty your mind?” She hesitated before answering. “A bit. It was hard to keep thoughts from intruding.” “Indeed, it is. What kind of thoughts, if you don’t mind my asking?” “Well, when I tried just to concentrate on your voice as you instructed, sometimes fragments of music would come into my mind.” “Ah, yes. That is a drawback of the particular method I was trying to employ,” he said. “It’s hard for me not to slip into humming a Bach cantata.” She laughed. “The music I thought of was more along the lines of old songs and lullabies my gran used to sing to me.” She dropped her eyes, suddenly self-conscious at sharing such childish personal remembrances with him. “Really? I should like to hear them sometime,” he said. He immediately chid himself for his forwardness. He was courtly out of habit, with both male and female, old and young, and his words had come naturally. He realised, however, that under the current circumstances—alone with an attractive young woman—they might be interpreted as true flirtation. He turned his conversation back to their task. “Shall we try again? This time I will confine myself to humming only two notes.” They repeated the exercise twice more, with Minerva reporting only slightly greater success at clearing her mind. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know why I’m having such trouble with this.” “Do not feel discouraged. This can be very difficult. Especially if you have any worries or fears preying on your mind. If that is the case, we can postpone this exercise. Unless you feel you would like to unburden yourself; I find that can be helpful at times.” “No, sir. I have no particular troubles at the moment.” She couldn’t quite look him in the eye. He briefly considered pressing her on the topic, sensing there was something she was hiding, but decided against it. “I am very glad to hear it. Perhaps we should try a different method of focusing your concentration. If you wouldn’t mind, my dear, placing your hands in mine?” “Certainly, sir.” She offered her hands to him. He took them, resting her small palms lightly on top of his large ones. “Now, try the same thing—clear your mind—by focusing on the warmth of my hands. Close your eyes.” She did so. A flush rose in her cheeks as he held her hands in his. After two minutes, he released her hands and instructed her to open her eyes. “How was that?” he asked. “Um, marginally better than the humming. It was easier to just focus on the feeling of your hands,” she said. “Good. Let’s try it one more time; this time try to hold off your thoughts a bit longer.” He held her hands for three minutes. When she closed her eyes, he could not help taking the opportunity to observe her closely. She was no longer flushed, and her eyes were motionless behind her closed lids. Good. She was more relaxed. When he released her, he said, “I think that’s probably enough of that exercise for the moment. I would like you to practise each night before you sleep. You may wish to place a warming charm on some object you can hold during your practice, at least for the first few times, to give yourself something tactile to focus on, as we just have done.” She nodded. He could tell she was dissatisfied by her own performance, so he said, “Please try not to be so hard on yourself. Learning to free the mind is one of the hardest aspects of advanced magic. Most spells only require one to focus on the intent or another very specific thought. Focusing on nothing is much more difficult. It took me two months before I could achieve a clear enough mind to progress during my Legilimency training.” She paled. She had forgotten that he was a Legilimens. He understood immediately what was bothering her; it was a common reaction when people first learnt of his rare ability to look into the minds of others. They seemed to think that he could simply tiptoe through minds as easily as he might trespass in someone’s garden. He reassured her. “Don’t worry, my dear. I would never practise Legilimency on anyone without asking or without the permission of the Wizengamot. Besides, if I were to attempt to enter your mind, you would most assuredly know it. It is a very unpleasant feeling when one is unprepared or unwilling. Not that I believe for a moment that you have anything to hide.” She was startled, until he grinned at her, and she realised he was teasing. Two could play at that game, she thought. “You might be very surprised, Professor,” she said. “Would I?” “Indeed. Shocked, even.” He realised that the game had quite suddenly wandered into dangerous territory. He needed to steer it back on course, now. “Well, as I’m sure you wouldn’t wish to overtax the heart of an old man, we’ll forgo the discussion of your wickedness for today,” he said, keeping his smile congenial. “Perhaps it would be a good time to break for some tea. Would that please?” “Yes, sir, thank you.” What had she been thinking? Professor Dumbledore charmed the water to the correct temperature and added the tea to the pot. When it had steeped, he asked, “Shall I be Mother, then?” “Yes, please.” He poured out two cups and offered her milk, which she took, and sugar, which she did not. He added a generous dollop of milk and two teaspoons of sugar to his tea. He noticed her noticing. “Bit of a sweet tooth,” he said. “So I gathered,” she said, smiling wryly at him. As they had their tea, he said, “It appears young Tom Riddle is quite smitten with you.” She took a sip from her cup before answering. “It would appear so.” “You don’t sound especially pleased at the prospect.” “No. To tell the truth, it’s rather a bore.” “A bore? To have the attention of such a popular, handsome young man?” Dumbledore asked, feigning surprise. “He doesn’t interest me.” “If you don’t mind my prying, may I ask why not?” “He’s ...” She didn’t quite know how to finish. Dumbledore waited, so she continued, “He makes me uncomfortable. He seems so solicitous, so gentlemanly, but it’s all an act. I don’t really know why he’s interested in me.” “That isn’t especially hard to understand. You are— forgive me, my dear, but you are lovely.” He quickly added, “Not that that’s the only reason, of course, or even the most important one. You must know that you are an extraordinary young lady. You are obviously very intelligent and accomplished. And you are ...” He searched for a word that wouldn’t sound inappropriate. “Intense.” “Sir?” She was blushing furiously. “I mean only that you have a drive and a focus that probably appeal to Tom. He strikes me as driven, as well. I am not surprised that you should be the focus of his romantic intentions.” “I wish he would focus them on someone else.” There was a long pause before Dumbledore spoke again. “Minerva, ordinarily I would not presume to interject my opinions into the personal affairs of a student, but I must admit I am glad to hear that you are not interested in Tom Riddle.” Her heart seemed to skip several beats. “Why is that, sir?” she asked, unable to look at him. “I have been following Tom’s progress since he first came to Hogwarts, and I have noticed things that concern me. I will not enumerate them for you, but suffice it to say that I believe his intentions are not entirely benign.” Her eyes went wide in alarm, so he hastened to add, “Oh, not regarding you, specifically. But in general. I believe you are wise to stay clear of him.” “Thank you for the advice, sir.” They finished their tea, and Professor Dumbledore cleared the service to a side table. “Are you ready to try again?” he asked. She was disappointed to realise that he wanted to continue with the mind-clearing exercises. She had hoped to move on to something more interesting during the last hour of their meeting. Suppressing a sigh, she said, “Yes, sir.” They repeated the exercise several more times. Minerva was slightly more successful with each attempt, and at last, Professor Dumbledore said, “I believe you are getting the knack, as they say. We have time for one more attempt before our time is finished.” She placed her hands in his and closed her eyes. This time, he kept her hands for five minutes, watching her face intently as he held them. Without intending to, he allowed his right thumb to caress the back of her hand. Her breath hitched, and in that instant, he realised what he had done. He released her hands and said softly, “Open your eyes, Minerva.” She did. Her eyes met his, and they didn’t speak for a few seconds. He looked away first. Keeping his voice even, he said, “Well, I think that will be enough for today. You’ve worked hard. I hope you are pleased with yourself.” “Yes, sir. Thank you.” “I shall see you at dinner, then.” “Yes. Good afternoon, Professor Dumbledore.” She hesitated for a second, then rose and went. Once safely out of his office, she went into the nearest girls’ lavatory and splashed her hot face with water. She peered into the mirror, wondering what Professor Dumbledore saw when he looked at her. It suddenly occurred to her to wonder just when he had started calling her by her given name. ← Back to Chapter 4 On to Chapter 6 → Category:Chapters of Epithalamium